As parents we second-guess ourselves all the time. Am I helping too much? Am I helping enough? Am I saying the right thing? But there is no such thing as too much support, especially in failure.

We learn to own our own failures the same way we learn to own our own successes. We have to let our kids do that too. And it is the hardest thing to do. When we see our kids fail, we wished we could pick up their failures and make them our own, so to relieve them of a heavy burden that we know how to carry because we have failed before, so many times. The same way we want to take all their pain away from them when they are sick so that they can feel better faster, we wished we could take their failures away from them so that they can feel happy again, quickly without suffering. But it’s that suffering that makes them stronger, ready to face more failures, and embrace the successes with humility and grace. It is necessary to fall to be able to get up and try again.

We do have to remind our children that success is not being the best. We have to remind our children that success is falling, getting up again and doing it again. Success is not giving up even when all the odds seem against you, because they are not. Only your will is. Success is learning humility in both our successes and our failures. Resiliency comes from hardship, also the one that we learn from failing.

The best part of any trip is not the destination but the road you decide to take to get there.

February 2018